Prison is a long, hard road. There is no way I can thank enough those who have stuck by me: my mom, dad and sister, my angel ♥️, and a crew of solid friends and family. A journey like this lets you know who is real.

Will the lies ever stop? Now they're saying I rejected a 10-year plea deal from my prosecutors. Where do they come up with this stuff?!

The initial sadness and disappointment of not being granted clemency are fading. Life goes on. I’m doing my best to look at each moment as a gift, a unique experience to be embraced.

I love this sentiment, and I believe it is true for the person choosing this kind of life to live. But for others, does it matter whether their benefactor’s intentions are selfish or altruistic? Which is more important: intentions or actions?

I put Silk Road on the Tor network about 10 years ago. I’ve been thinking about what was going through the mind of my 26-year-old self back then in 2011. So much has changed… If only I could turn back time.

I was up extra early again today and was able to have a nice long meditation in near total silence. This is quickly becoming a priceless part of my routine. When do you usually get up?

I started working through “Introduction to Modern Cryptography” by Katz today. Should be more edifying than sudoku and crosswords, and scratches the same itch.

I was allowed outside for 3 full hours today. The sky, the breeze, the sun on my skin…it was euphoric. After all those months confined to a cell, I felt a little exposed and overstimulated just being out there, but it soon passed.

I have started getting up at 5 am, before the doors are unlocked and the cell block starts getting loud. There’s no other time as peaceful and quiet, and I like being up before everyone else.

I’ve been meditating in virasana (kneeling) for years, but the past few days I’ve been trying the lotus position (just half-lotus for now). It’s very stable and great for my posture, but my feet are completely numb after just 20 minutes!

I think I’m in shock. Just had a 3-minute walk to the commissary OUTSIDE, as in…not inside a building! I’m back in the cell now though. Can’t remember the last time I got outside like that.

I was just given the 2nd Pfizer vaccine. Hopefully that means this lockdown will finally be over soon and I can see visitors again.

I am distracting myself from the horror of life in prison with math problems!

If I live into my 70s, I potentially have 40 years of prison ahead of me, more time than I’ve been alive. I can’t tell if that means life is long or if life is short. What do you think?

Getting up this morning wasn’t easy, but I am sticking with my habit of rising early to meditate and pray.